I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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