Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize