I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear