they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Enjoy the penises
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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