you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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