and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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