I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You made out with two different species that night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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