She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.