i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me