apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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