Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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