Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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