He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
