ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.