you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?