I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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