is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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