Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
