Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
only if we run a train.
done.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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