awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
