ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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