Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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