Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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