He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
