If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize