I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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