he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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