I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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