And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
