I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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