If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
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Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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