i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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