Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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