Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize