i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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