I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
