what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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