I got chris browned last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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