i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
