ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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