so explain again why im purple
no
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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