Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize