I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
