My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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