If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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