Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
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They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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