i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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