you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
