In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You're like the curious george of whores
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I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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