Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ketchup is God's man juice
No subtext here. People are naked.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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