I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
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He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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