1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize