Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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